Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Guest Star Day: Oswald B. Sinus!

Today I'm going to introduce you to a close, personal friend of mine. They say that great minds think alike, and ol' Oswald has been inside my head for as long as I can remember.

Hello, Oswald, and welcome to the blog. Would you like to tell the folks out there a little bit about yourself?

Sure! I'm a Scorpio, and you and I were born in--

Never mind that. I'm sure our readers are more interested in your professional life.

What professional life? I'm a sinus cavity. You think I took a course or something?

Okay, then. Enlighten us. What does a sinus cavity do?

Well, my job is kind of like yours. Nobody's 100% positive what I do all day. Lemme tell you guys, if a person could get paid to swig coffee all day, she'd be a zillionaire! Why, there was this one time--

Get. On. With. It.

Okay, so there's a bunch of theories out there as to what my function is. For starters, I'm sort of like air conditioning. Cold air comes in through your face, I warm it up and send it on to your lungs. Whiny things, those lungs. Anyhow, I also lighten your cranial load. Do you know how much your skull would weigh without me to open things up? Yeah, well... neither do I, but I'm pretty sure it's a lot.

Another theory is that I'm the reason you sound like you. They don't refer to certain voices as "nasal" for nothing! Man, there was this one guy who sounded like a flock of geese whenever he--

Hey! Let's tell everybody what you're doing right now! You know, the redecorating project where everything is turning green?

Oh. Uh, I was kinda hoping you weren't going to bring that up. But since you did, and since it IS your fault...

MY fault? Why, you...

Hey, take it easy. You're the one who ran out of eucalyptus oil. AND stayed in the house for a whole week, I might add. You should feel sorry for me. See, folks, there I was, doing one of my other jobs. Catching germs and other stuff that floats around in the air, you know? Well, I caught a doozy of a cold. I told her she should get out more, but noooooooo. SHE wants to stay in the house and breathe recycled air forever!

Well, I got out yesterday, thank you very much. Look here.

You got the eucalyptus oil?! What are you waiting for? Pop the cap and let's toast!

While Oswald enjoys his eucalyptus and honey cocktail, I'm going to go dig out the Neti pot. A good flush with warm salt water ought to help him get his act together. See you tomorrow, folks. With any luck, I'll find a really neat picture to share.

1 comment:

  1. ROTFLOL! I have a couple of those sassy guys, myself. And, uh, please let the picture be of a Neti pot or of a clean sinus cavity, and not of Oswald's ... er ... output? Please?

    Marian Allen


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