Green Monday: a drinking game?

Hi, folks. We're kind of taking stock today after a whopper of a storm blew through. Hail, wind gusts up to eighty miles per hour, and Mother Nature's version of the Anvil Chorus. Someone who shall remain nameless but is known as My Husband put my impatiens outside AFTER I had brought them in from the wind. I now have a lovely basket of green stalks. Chagrin.

With gardening season upon us, it's time to think about other ways that plants can lose leaves. Two major culprits around here are deer and slugs. We'll leave the deer alone today and focus on the slugs.

Now, I'm totally fine with the "all life is sacred" creed. I still brush my teeth, but I brake for snakes in the road. In spite of this, I can not wrap my head around why we have things like slugs. Not just any slugs, either. These are big dudes, about five inches long, and every now and then we'll find one in the house.

Bleagh.

My dear spouse (the impatien stripper) once displayed his incredible balletic prowess when he marched into the front room and stepped on an intruder slug.

Barefoot. *snicker*

So anyway, slugs are here and they want to eat our plants. To avoid this, you can try one of these three easy methods. First, save the shells from your morning eggs. Let 'em dry and crunch 'em up. Sprinkle the crunched-up shell bits to make a thick border around any places you'd like to keep slug-free. Imagine walking across broken glass, and you'll see just why this works.

If you've just come into some money, you can buy copper strips to encircle your plant beds. Imagine sucking on a penny all day. Yeah, the slugs don't like it, either.

The third method involves a little-known fact: slugs are party animals. They like to drink. Miniature lampshades, teeny-weeny martinis; the works. You can take advantage of this fact with a judicious application of beer. Note: if you're not keen on killing things, skip this method. Get a pie pan, preferably disposable. You probably won't want it back. Sink it into your garden, right up to the rim, and fill it with beer. The slugs will come charging out of the greenery at the speed of... Okay, they'll gradually make their way to the beer and literally drown their sorrows. I'm not sure if they fall in first, or if they get drunk and pass out in their drinks, but the end result is the same: sloshed slugs on their way to gastropod Valahlla.

Makes you think twice about asking for a slug of beer, eh?

Do you get slugs in your garden? How do you deal with them?